Do you ever sit and wonder, “what makes me happy?” I mean as a mom, we loose ourselves in raising kids and taking care of everyone else. Do we even know what makes us happy? Like when our kids are gone and husbands are at work. Are we happy?
When we’re alone, are we happy? What makes us happy?
Depending on the times in my life I have found happiness in different areas. Short lived moments of happiness. They helped me during some brief moments but finding what makes me happy has been a constant journey for me.
Half the battle has been allowing myself to be happy. Slowing myself short moments of selfishness to feel love and feel peace with myself.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my kids and my husband. They make me very happy. I’m talking about when kids are gone and husband is gone. When I’m alone. Am I happy? Do I know how to be happy with myself?
Now that’s an interesting question. I’ve been on permanent disability for a couple years now and it’s been a major adjustment for me.
I was a single parent for a very long time. Working sometimes 4-5 jobs to support my kids and so alone time and down time wasn’t even an option. I’d find peace in the rare quiet bath moments I’d manage to get. For real! And it was perfect for me, at the time.
I’m 39 and have a daughter who’s in college and two other daughters in high school. I didn’t really plan on not being able to work at this point in my life. It gets boring.
Now add a move across country and a new culture, new living conditions and new food. New everything. I went from having lots of friends to a few acquaintances. It’s very different.
My husband works his butt off. 7 days a week most weeks. He’s such a hard worker and I appreciate that so much.
My kids have extremely different personalities and it is very entertaining at times but they’re sisters so they fight, a lot, too lol.
But I have had to learn what makes my soul happy all over again. Now that summer is over I find I have lots of alone time and for that reason finding what makes me happy is so important.
The gym makes me happy. Working out makes me happy. Meal prep even makes me happy (who knew?). I like pushing my body to the limits. I like my personal transformations. I like lifting heavy. Ask anyone who knows me. I like challenging my husband and lifting what he does, or try to at least.
I find peace and joy in training. It’s like therapy for me. Even if I don’t feel like going to the gym from time to time. I force myself to go and it always makes my days better. I am so glad I have this from the gym.
So there are many reasons why I do what I do. I love the gym and how it makes me feel and how it makes me a better person. Period.