I wonder what moulds all the people I see on social medial. What’s their story? What makes them so strong? What pushes them to dig deep and achieve their goals? Did one experience make them strong? Or was it multiple experiences that made them who they are?
My life hasn’t ever been easy. But I’ve always just did what was expected and carried on.
I was reflecting today on what sculpted me before military to be strong? What pushed me to limits I never knew I could endure and how has that made me who I am today?
As I reflect on my life and what’s shaped me to becoming the person I am I believe one experience (besides having my children) really shaped what my core is now.
When I was a teen I hit puberty like every other teen. But my bleeding issues whether it was monthly lasy issues or a cut or dental work I always bled “more than the average person”.
I never really thought much about it at the time. When I had my first daughter again I “bled more than the average” but again doctors didn’t seem too concerned.
After baby number 2. I bled a lot after giving birth. Much more concerning BUT I got pregnant with baby number 3 just a few months later so it was brushed aside.
After baby number 3 I bled so much my iron levels were at 3. Scary low. I kept figuring I was tired because I had three kids under 3 1/2. So when I went to my one year check up at my gynecologist. I was shocked to hear him tell me I had to have an emergency hysterectomy. OR blood transfusions every week until I had a hysterectomy.
Imagine my devastation. Here I am 25 years old and told I have to have an emergency hysterectomy.
Now, a bit of back story. I was essentially a single mom at this point. My then husband wasn’t supportive. Wasn’t helpful with the kids or anything. Our marriage was at a breaking point.
I had a 3.5 year old a 2 year old and a 1 year old. How was I suppose to make this huge decision alone when my kids needed me?
I remember talking to my grandmothers brother in law and remember him telling me that my kids needed one healthy attentive parent and that if I needed this to be that for them. I needed to do it. That I had three kids and needed to make sure they were okay before I worried about future children.
I remember years later after another medical concern in my family to be an advocate for myself and get tested for a bleeding disorder.
Now guess what the results were? I did in deed have a bleeding disorder and was told then I could have avoided a hysterectomy all together if my doctor would have just advocated for me a had me tested. They told me a simple injection once a week during my cycle would have been enough to curb my issues. Or a shot before surgeries etc.
Why am I sharing this? Because I want to inspire women. I want to build someone up. We all face devastation now and then. I did what I thought I had to do at the time. With the information I had.
Was I devastated when I learned I didn’t have to have a hysterectomy? Absolutely. Did I cry and hit a low? Absolutely. Did I let it define me? Absolutely not!
It’s just another part of my story and it’s not over yet. Life throws you curves and you have to make the best decisions for your life based on the information you have.
I had three daughters who relied on me and still do. I couldn’t allow on bad situation allow me to lash out or loose myself or who I am now that it’s done.
Hold your head up night. Fix your crown. Fake the smile if you have too. But never. I repeat NEVER give up.