Reflection

I wanted to look back on 2018 and see what inspired me. I wanted to look through photos from the year and see how they made me feel. Where do those pictures take me emotionally?

If I said 2018 was easy, I’d be bold face lying! 2018 was HARD. So incredibly hard. I was nervous to look at this years photos. I didn’t want the gross feelings from bad memories.

So I picked a few that meant something to me and wanted to talk about it.

This is ME. Unfiltered, unapologetic. Just Joelle. Probably with day 3 hair, hence the braids. I have naturally curly hair so I use a shower cap in between washes in the shower so I don’t have to straighten my hair again 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m an introvert. So I train over 90% alone. If I talk to you often it’s because I consider you a dear friend and being Canadian that basically means your family. I don’t mind being alone. I enjoy the solace most of the time but I do love being surrounded by good people and good friends.

I also loved this photo I came across you can see I basically live in work out attire. I fell in love with training and basically myself again. Not that I’m conceited. I’m not at all. I just love treating myself with the respect my body needs. And the challenge it takes me to achieve my fitness goals.

I was told by many doctors that I’d never do so many things. Basically put limits on what my life would look like.

Granted, I cannot do a lot of things that I used to be able too. I can’t even train the way I need to, to be as successful as quickly as the next athlete. But I use this as a drive to do better, try harder, and prove them I CAN do it.

The floor has been my friend these past few years. My back injury is a constant annoyance. Lots of times my back hurts so bad the only relief I get it laying flat on the floor. My family doesn’t even get phased by it anymore. It’s normal for our house.

This is my absolute favorite selfie of 2018 No joke. Seeing this picture of me from this year makes me so proud. It was so hard and I experienced so much suffering to achieve this physique. For real.

I would carry jolly ranchers in my gym bag in case my blood sugar crashed during workouts. I didn’t want to pass out. For real.

I struggle to keep my blood sugars balanced and am also insulin resistant so I need to be cautious of what my body does. Especially in prep.

I don’t even mind that my cluttered tub is in this picture. This is real life. We are in a crappy apartment since moving to Louisiana and I hate it. We moved from a beautiful home that I’ve rented in Utah to be close to my husbands work but man has it been a struggle here.

I remember posting this a month before my last show I competed in. I had kept my show a secret and when I posted this I got a TON of inquiries and attention for it and lots of questions for when I was competing again. I knew I blew my cover but tried to brush it off like I don’t know what they were talking about 🤣.

It was a huge compliment because it acknowledged to myself that I was getting ready and that also made me proud and gave me the stamina to keep pushing to my goal.

I’m a very fact if the matter person. I wear my heart in my sleeve and I’d never say anything intentionally to hurt anyone’s feelings or take make anyone feel less than they are.

The Canadian in me seems to get me into trouble in the south. Friends are family to Canadians. Period.

I talk about my life and things in my life. Good, bag, ugly. But I’m honest. I find people in the south take me too literal and think because I find things here different that I’m rejecting it. Which I am not.

Living in the south is different and it’s been a challenge for me and my family. But I love the south. I love the people. I am just used to a different speed and urgency with businesses.

Doesn’t mean my way is right or the south way is right. It’s just a learning curve and navigating it is brutal. I’m doing the very best I can. I promise you.

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I know I have shared this photo before but I wanted to post it again.  I have overcome so much and still am.  I strive to be the best I can.  I don’t believe I have reached my full potential.  Not even close.

But this photo right here shows what it means to not quit.  To not let doctors limit by abilities.  To not allow others to limit my abilities.  It may take me longer.  It may take me achieving things in different ways.  It may be frustrating.  It may be hard.  But I will not give up.

I post this last picture to prove to everyone that the only limit you have it what you place on yourself.  I’m a visual person so I want people to see that not matter what God places in your life.  You can do anything.  The journey may look different.  But you can get there.

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