Sometimes life throws you curves. Sometimes they take your breathe away. Sometimes they seem like the hardest things ever and you wonder how on earth you can make it through.
I have been going through an extremely hard life curve right now. The last few months I have been living an extreme hell. To think about the specifics of this brings me to tears. I pride myself on being extremely independent. Extremely loyal and extremely strong. But sometimes life throws you curves that even us strong and independent people get thrown for a loop and we wonder how we will make it through.
The past month I have been forced to make decisions that will affect me and my kids for the rest of our lives. I have been forced to choose between comfort and familiarity. I have been forced to choose between hiding behind illusions and standing up for myself and my daughters and choosing to be the main captain of our ship again.
My social media is my life in fitness. I am 100% who I portray on there. I am who I am and I am proud of it. I love fitness. It is my therapy. It allows me to have an identity after I was permanently injured in the military and was forced onto early retirement. I have used fitness to help me through the hard times in my life. Obviously no ones life is perfect or without challenges.
I have been using fitness as an outlet a lot the last year. It has allowed me to meet amazing people. Be the most athletic I have ever been. It has allowed me to be the most competitive to date. Looking back, I wouldn’t change a thing. I am so grateful for having fitness in my life. I know it has made me a better person, mother and friend. My kids have always come before my fitness career and I would do anything for them. I’m working on being the best version of ME!
I have chosen to move back to Utah from Louisiana this past month. It was not an easy choice in a lot of respects but has also been the simplest choice in others.
I have chosen to be an inspiratoin to others. Not just in fitness but in how I conduct myself in both my personal life and for what I stand for.
I have learned that at the end of the day you need to be able to look in the mirror and be proud of who you are and what you represent. This includes how you let people treat you. You need to think highly enough about yourself that you demand the respect you deserve. Especially when you have kids watching you. We lead by example and is your life reflecting how you’d want your kids lives to look? Or are you complacent and allowing people to dictate how you deserve to be respected?
Life can change on a dime. Each one of us deserves to be safe and treated with the utmost respect. Life is too short not to feel loved and not to feel safe. Safety is the most simple thing and we deserve to feel it. If youre not safe you need to get safe. Whatever the cost. Love is another thing. You deserve love and to be loved unconditionally and without judgement. Your love should be your safe place and if its not, it needs to be.
I have a wonderful support system and amazing parents. Amazing kids and believe things will all settle and be how it should be soon. All I want is to feel safe, loved and at peace. That’s it. I won’t allow anything or anyone to take those two basic things away from me. Not now, not ever.
My girls are the most important things in my life! I would do ANYTHING for them!